Dear Mr. Big Spider,
Please stop building spider webs across our front gate. I am tired of walking through them in the dark then doing the stupid spider dance where I spin around slapping the sides of my face and swatting at my back.
Where I come from, spiders are a little more modest about their size and they choose to build webs in corners of barns or attics or places where the web can only enhance the spooky ambiance. They also take pride in the construction of their snares instead of hastily stringing a few lines across the driveway at head height.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I appreciate you clearing the flies and bugs from the air; I just don't want to be part of the process.
Look, we have a large front yard and you live in a very large tree. I am sure we can reach a compromise.
Warm Regards,
-joe
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3 comments:
i'm literally laughing out loud... :)
They must have like-minded spiders in Maui. There was hardly a hiking trail where spiders snares hadn't been set. I am thankful that I got to do the Spider Dance in the middle of the forest, and not at my front gate for all to see.
Say, have you ever been eating outdoors in the late summer and done the Bee Dance?
haha A mouse knocked over my vase of flowers today-granted it was sitting on a cushioned bench while i was letting them get sun but still- the mouse did it! I saw him near the crime scene about a half our later so all evidence points to him. I will trade you my mouse for your spider, deal?
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